Thursday, November 12, 2009

Longbox Blues: Deadpool #15-16, #900

I'm gonna come right out and say it: I'm a Deadpool fan.

I know, I know. Deadpool is the new Wolverine. An overused, annoying, whored-out character that isn't funny but brings in mucho $ for the House of Ideas.

It wasn't always this way. I should mention that I'm a fan of oldschool Deadpool, from the Joe Kelly era. That's right, back when the character had character, when there was depth to the Merc with a Mouth. When he was actually funny. Joe Kelly's Deadpool run actually made me laugh out loud at times, something that really doesn't happen when I read comics. Heck, I'm such a fan of that period of Deadpool history that I even dressed up as him for Halloween. (And yes, that post was written in character.)

I decided to check out Deadpool's new story: him joining the X-Men. Wait, didn't that already happen before, and didn't he get a way better costume than this new ugly yellow one?

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The issues began with a "Previously in Deadpool" page, which reminded me of the recap pages from Kelly-era Deadpool. That felt nice. Then I read the recap page and literally wondered "WTF."

Apparently, Wade got himself a crapload of money, bought a nuclear sub, sank it, used a tugboat to pull it, turned the tugboat into a pirate ship, tried to free the people of some island, and the sub exploded.

Since when did Deadpool become a rejected Family Guy sketch?

#15 started off strong. Stranded at sea, Wade starts to lose it. Or rather, continues to lose it. I couldn't help but think of Tales of the Black Freighter and the oldschool SNL "Land Shark" sketches (which Joe Kelly made a reference to back in '97), but that's probably just me.

He eventually gets back to shore, and the book climaxes in a very nonsensical scene that wasn't funny at all. #16 picks up soon afterwards, with Wade on the X-Men's island, applying to the team.

Cyclops later sends Domino to find Deadpool and to speak to him. Those two go way back. If I'm not mistaken, they both first appeared in New Mutants #98. The fight scene was supposed to be entertaining, but ultimately fell very, very flat. Pun NOT intended.

The jokes were lame, the story didn't make sense, and Wade looks like a freakin' burn victim rather than the disfigured monster he's supposed to be. I won't be writing about the rest of the arc because I'm not going to be reading it.

I also decided to pick up Deadpool #900. I figured that if any modern Deadpool book could be good, it would be a super-sized collection of short Deadpool stories by different people. Hell, Joe Kelly was even writing one!

#900 is a series of unrelated, uninteresting, and unoriginal short stories featuring Deadpool. Modern "lol, i has 2 vioces in mah hed" Deadpool. One of the tales was an homage to Deadpool #42, "Silent But Deadly Interlude," which in turn was an homage to G.I. Joe #21, "Silent Interlude." That one was OK. Watching Wade noiselessly fight mimes was strange in a good way, but the plot made little sense. Another featured Deadpool and a shrink. It was very bizarre, and I can honestly say that it was the only story in the book that I actually liked. The Joe Kelly story, unfortunately, was drawn by [shudder] Rob Liefeld. I know that it's only fair, since he DID co-create the character, but seriously, that man should not be allowed near pencils or any other stationary paraphernalia. The story itself wasn't good, nor funny, though it did give readers a glimpse into Wade's childhood, and into Deadpool's mysterious pouches. And the final story is a reprint of Deadpool Team-Up #1, which was awful and really felt like something out of a Wolverine story.

It's hard to be a Deadpool fan. I was disappointed by all of those books and I really don't like what they've done with/to the character. I'll go hug my Classic Deadpool trades and cry myself to sleep, I guess.

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