Monday, November 23, 2009

Wuthering Huh?

I learned about this a few weeks ago and have been following it, but I feel something needs to be said. Now, when I say what I'm about to say, some of you will surely say, "But Jordan, you're over-exaggerating, it can't possibly be the Biblical End of Times, the Apocalypse, the End of all Humanity and Civilization!" And you would be wrong. It is. The end is very nigh. What I am about to tell you is completely true, so please, I advise you brace yourselves.

Sigh. Okay. Here goes.
I have recently learned that the classic piece of literature by Emily Bronte, "Wuthering Heights", is to be repackaged with a new cover. This is not a problem, this happens every few years, right? Wrong. Not like this. There was a recent press release/statement made by the author of the "Twilight" novels that stated that Edward (Cullen) and Bella (Whatsherface)'s favourite book, was "Wuthering Heights" - for what I can only assume was literary comparison between the main character from it's moodiness and Edward's. Here inlies the problem - the geniuses at the publishing companies - who clearly hate literature - are REPACKAGING "Wuthering Heights", and English Literature CLASSIC, with a new cover designed by the same man who did the "Twilight" covers, in the same style, with a flower on a staircase surrounded by black and "Emily Bronte" written in that faux-semi-Gothic font. The kicker? There is a little yellow star bubble on the cover below the image which says, "Edward and Bella's favourite book!" . The second kicker? They're flying off the shelves.

On the article which contained this information (here, here, here, here and here - yeah, I'm thorough) there were comments - one which was, "Is this book in old timey English or normal, readable English? Because I can't help but feel this is a repackaging of the original." -- THIS BOOK WAS WRITTEN IN THE MID 1800s! It's as readable as it gets! The other comment read, "Advisory: this isn't even a good romance novel! There's like, 5 pages of romance! The rest is all anger and bitterness!" - No kidding. Do these people even KNOW the story behind "Wuthering Heights"?!

I can't help but feel now, that this will lead to a new market where all classic books are repackaged with a new cover, claiming that "BLANK FICTIONAL CHARACTER's favourite book!" and then plastered with a poorly thought out cover to sell copy. This are classics which already sell well, they don't need to be revamped. I can't help but feel "The Illiad" will soon be republished with, "MAIN CHARACTER from 'Never Back Down's favourite book!" .

This is it, the world is over. Mahalo.

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