An Accurate Look at: "The A-Team" (2010)

Besides for a few syndicated episodes I saw at a friend's place, a handful of others in translation, the episode on the DVD I found in a box of Orville Redenbacher's, and the entire Marvel Comics limited series, I'm not exactly familiar with the classic A-Team TV show. I know the premise, I know the characters, but I haven't seen enough of that action-filled program to tell just how accurate Hollywood's new big-screen adaptation of it is. That being said, I laughed a lot watching the TV show, and in the movie theatre, I grinned from start to finish.

Now, normally I'm very, VERY weary of Hollywood adaptations or, even worse, "reimaginings" or existing franchises. If you've read any of my other tongue-in-cheekly titled "Accurate Look at" reviews here on The Nail Gun, you might see why: they're half-assed cashgrabs that don't care about the source material and will deface whatever they want to make that money. The A-Team, however, is not like that. Unlike those other movies which are completely brainless, The A-Team is smart. It is well thought out, well-written, and is in on the joke. It is supposed to be over-the-top and characters even mention that it's completely ridiculous. It is carefully planned action with brains behind it, rather than the usual shootout/explosion/car chase/fight scene formula of action flicks, with awful writing, bad acting, too much CGI, and fake tits thrown in. The action is over-the-top on purpose for the sake of intense humour, rather than just plain excessive in order to drive up the CG bill. It's a light-hearted action comedy, really, and the humour and adrenaline does not stop.

The film starts with an explanation of how the team came together, and how B.A. got his fear of flying. A friend of mine told me that the opening scene itself was worth the price of admission. Had I left the theatre once that high-octane introduction was over, I would have got my money's worth. But instead, I stayed until the end and got more than I bargained for.

The A-Team was better than I expected and much better than it should have been. I love Liam Neeson, and his Hannibal combines the cool wisdom of Qui-Gon Jinn with the badassity of his character from Taken. Bradley Cooper is great as Face, the ladykiller disguise guy. I wasn't sure what to think about the casting choice for B.A. (they used some UFC fighter), but he was able to act, and he won me over in very little time. And of course, District 9's Sweetie Man returns with a vengeance and knocks 'em dead as Howlin' Mad Murdock. This guy had talent with a capital T and I'm looking forward to his other projects. In terms of story, the movie explains the team's origins and the events that lead up to their needing to run from the law. You know, the stuff the narrator mentions in the opening of the TV show. Yeah, that stuff. He basically summarizes the movie for you. Not that that's any excuse to miss this one.

The story itself is a rather convoluted scheme of secrets and mysteries which isn't exactly plausible, but neither are most of the action sequences, but it's all part of the fun. It's so ridiculous that anything can happen, so viewers aren't sure what to expect, despite the Team's careful planning of every mission. That's another thing that separates The A-Team from crappy action flicks - the Team fights not only with guns, fists, helicopters, and GMC vans. They use their heads and plan things out rather that rushing in with explosions and bad CG. It's a smart, genuinely funny action movie instead of a brainless action flick that ruins a timeless franchise, which is what it would have been in someone else's hands.

It's not all plausible, it's not all credible, it doesn't all make sense, but it is ridiculous on purpose. It's a fun, exciting and genuinely enjoyable comedic action film with brains and lots of love for the source material. There are even a few cameos by two of the original A-Team TV show actors. I laughed much more than I anticipated, and when I wasn't laughing, there was still a huge grin on my face. While I strongly doubt older A-Team fans (the ones who tuned into the show every week) will be quite as thrilled as I was, the movie delivers the action and characters to a new generation, while maintaining the fun of the classic program. It's well worth checking out. Just lighten up and get ready to laugh.

EDIT: Having just watched some oldschool A-Team, I have to say that the movie is truer to the show than I thought. Some elements of the TV series were translated beautifully to the screen, such as the Team's smart-talking, the building-stuff montages, and Murdock's Howling Madness.

What The?! -- Avenegrs Dissassembled

In my last article, I posted an introduction to the new Marvel Universe crossover event: The Heroic Age. We are in the middle of the month and I still have optimistic pessimism for this whole debacle. But as I promised, I’m going back to the start, to how this whole thing started.

In the Beginning, Stan Lee created Spider-Man and the Fantastic Four. Okay maybe I went a bit too far back. A few decades later, in the year 2004, Ronald Reagan passed away, and Clint Eastwood’s Million Dollar Baby won numerous Academy Awards. I was just a wee lad back then, finishing high school and eager to enter first year of college in September. At this point in my life, comic books meant nothing to me. They were simply an aspect of the world that I acknowledged. But that does not mean important things were happening in the Marvel Universe. That year’s major crossover, Avengers Disassembled, was beginning to assemble.

Avengers Disassembled is quite unique; it was not necessarily a “crossover” like the events that come after it. Several series have had Disassembled in their title, such as Thor, Captain America, and Iron Man, but the main storyline (which consisted of four, count ‘em, 4!) issues of the Avengers. These four issues of the ongoing series are required to comprehend the entire event. If you are asking “So what?”, then you probably have not seen what happened with Civil War, or even worse, Secret Invasion.

Unfortunately, there is a downside to the brevity of the event. Since the storyline is only four issues, it’s not very well developed. Everything is introduced in the first few pages, and then explained in the last few. There’s little-to-no build-up, or character development. Despite this, the story does have characteristics to it that make up for its shortcomings. Unlike other story arcs, this event is key to the future of the Marvel Universe.

It begins as a normal day at the Avengers Mansion. The Avengers are just chatting mildly about previous encounters. Nothing exciting. But soon something shocking appears on the security system, and terrifies the Avengers. The recently deceased and now decaying hero Jack of Hearts strolls slowly to the mansion. Relax, he’s no one special. I would love nothing more than to tell you more about him, but I know jack-shit about him. After these four issues, he is practically forgotten. Just know that he used to be Avenger before he DIED-died (for reals!). A different Ant-Man, (not the wife-beater, goes to his friend and asks what’s happening. Jack of Hearts, after moaning something ominous, blows up, killing Ant-Man and destroying almost half of the mansion. Yes, I am not making this up, this is Marvel’s doing.

Meanwhile, at the UN… Iron Man, currently the Secretary of Defense, descends into a drunken rage, without ever drinking. He loses his mind and accusing the Latverian diplomat of being a terrorist, a madman and a monster. Back at the mansion, the Vision suddenly appears and crashes the Quinjet on the mansion grounds, destroying the other half of the mansion. He comes out of the debris and creates duplicates of Ultron, who immediately attacks the Avengers. She-Hulk hulks out to a point of illiteracy (something she has almost never done before) and rips Vision in half, essentially “killing” him. He got better. Already, have seen three deaths in the first issue of this event. There was neither grieving nor tears, only quick and apathetic deaths.

The Avengers take a break from dying, and decide to turn their anger on each other. If that wasn’t enough, all of the previous Avengers appear on the grounds (don’t ask me, I still don’t know). Suddenly, they are thrown into a large battle against the alien race known as the Kree. During the battle, Hawkeye is mortally wounded sacrifices himself to blow up the enemy ship.

“But UXM266, why are the Kree here?!” you might ask. The True Believer is Magic.
Eventually Dr. Strange gets his act together, walks into the mass hysteria, and accuses Wanda Maximoff, aka the Scarlet Witch as the perpetrator for all these deaths. He claims that her mutant abilities are too powerful At first, people believed she created hexes, which were minor inconveniences. In fact, she has the ability to warp reality, create false images in peoples minds, and generally act as a Deus Ex Machina for future Marvel events, stories and retcons. The story ends with Magneto coming to the ground and taking his daughter away to be cured. The Avengers then split up for numerous reasons, such as the loss of loved ones or morale.

I have mixed feelings about this event. Though I do like the tension it created between America’s Golden Boy Team, I was turned off by how quickly everything happened. The ratio for breakups and “deaths” in these four issues is far greater than most seven-parters. Despite its premature delivery and the lack of care for most of the characters, I felt it was a good beginning for even greater crossovers. The tensions start to develop between friends, while superheroes are beginning to be feared by the public. I feel that what they did to Wanda is a complete copout. I’ve never liked heroes or villains who are essentially gods, or have the power to alter the fabric of time and space. It seems like lazy writing and an excuse to do whatever one wants and pass it off as magic.

This event is not resolved in the following issues. Though it begins with the Avengers, the wrath of the Scarlet Witch begins to spill over to the homo superiors (mutants), and something must be done before it’s too late…. For we are going to enter the World of Magneto! The next post will not be House of M and Decimation. Instead, I’m going to write a letter of appreciation to the mutant Cyclops.

What The--? The Heroic Age

Okay class, time for a history lesson. Remember these important periods events:

1. Golden Age (1930s-1940s)
2. Silver Age (1956-late 1960s/early1970s)
3. Bronze Age (1970s-1980s)
4. Modern Age (mid 1980s-2010)
5. Heroic Age (May 2010-Next Major Marvel Crossover)

Before you start to flame me, please hear me out. For those of you are familiar with Ages, don’t worry, I’m aware that the Heroic Age is nothing more than a kitschy title used to draw in consumers who are (as my good friend described them) Marvel Whores. Well, I prefer the less colourful term "fan” or “follower”, but I have to admit, I fall under this category to a certain degree. (Un)fortunately, at this moment, little is known about this new reboot -- I mean crossover, but every week Marvel fanboys and fangirls are treated to little tidbits of the upcoming storyline. This new crossover will be the start of a new era. Heroes will be heroes, villains are villains, the status quo has been returned and everyone is happy-go-lucky. Prancing woodlands creatures, and choirs of cherubs are not included. We have numerous ongoing series such as:

• Avengers #1
• Secret Avengers #1
• New Avengers #1
• Avengers Academy #1
• X-Men #1
• Wolverine #1
• Young Allies #1

Most of you are probably thinking “But UXM266! Isn’t there already ongoing series using those names? Well, to answer your question, YES they are. But many of the current series are being cancelled and then restarted. As for Wolverine and the X-Men, new ongoing series are being introduced. Now one might then ask is “WHY?!”, well hold your horses. Before I get to this , there are still more changes that I have not yet mentioned.

• Luke Cage running the group of super villains called the Thunderbolts, replacing Norman Osborn
• Hope Summers (who is assumed to be a reincarnated Jean Grey.) is returning t the X-Men
• Wolverine is going to Hell.
• Captain America *Batman ripoff* was never dead, but actually sent back to the past. He's back
• Iron Man has no recollection of Civil War. He and Steve are now back to being best of buds.

Well it’s official: Marvel has run out of ideas. Okay. Let me rephrase that. They ran out of ideas a long time ago. I am still on the fence about the changes being made. There are so many ways this could go wrong. The potential for unoriginal ideas be rehashed under a different name is not only dull, but simply disappointing. Now let me answer the question "WHY?!". Every event starting from Avengers: Disassembled to Siege lead up to this Heroic Age. All of the crossovers have been given blows to egos, relationships, friendships and to the status of a hero. The Heroic Age is how the status quo will be returned to normal. Crimes will most likely be petty, new members will introduced, and most everything will be back to as normal as it gets in a superpowered New York. The Heroic Age is the equivalent to the Marvel Universe giving a hug, a warm blanket and a nice cup of cocoa to soothe the bullying everyone had to endure in the past 6 years. The event starts officially this month, but I would rather not focus too much on it because of all the possible variables that could change at the last minute.

Shinier, braver, and with 100% more Gorilla!

Even though I complained about the decisions Marvel has made, I am not opposing this decision. I’m just sceptical like I’ve been with every other Marvel event. Here’s hoping for the best! As a special treat, I would like to spend some time going over the major crossovers that occurred since the beginning of the end, those which lead to the beginning of this new age. In the next issue: the Avengers Disassembled!

An Accurate Look at: Hollywood's "Kick-Ass" Adaptation

When I first saw an issue of the Kick-Ass comic on the wall of my favourite comic shop (Carsley's Comics, Montreal's best-kept secret!), I couldn't help but smile. The title, art, and tagline grabbed my interest, and when I finally bought the first issue and read it, I couldn't wait for more. I read them all and really got attached to them. I guess, as a horny bespectacled geek with incredible powers of opposite sex repulsion, the comic really spoke to me. And let's be honest, you've wanted to, at one point or another, be able to do superheroics. I know I have. There, I said it.

I love the book. When I heard about the movie, I was excited. (Well, rather, read about the movie in the back of an issue.) The TV spots and trailers got me pumped. I wasn't crazy about the costume redesigns, but hey, I was sort of expecting that. As long as they didn't mess up the coming-of-age superhero story, I'd be happy.

So I get to the movie theatre and a brace myself for the ride. I mean, the comic is a straight-forward 8-issue miniseries which I read in 2 hours. How could they possibly mess up a film adaptation?

Surprise, kiddies. They messed up the film adaptation. I had no issues with the casting, and the generic superhero-ish music was good. It starts out accurately enough, but then it all falls apart. It's like the writers read the comic, picked-and-chose points they liked, threw out meaningful, important elements that should have stayed, and tossed in needless excessive action-flick content instead of the characters and story that made the book so great.

If you've read my other movie-related articles, you know I don't write spoilers. [And if you haven't read them, just browse the site for posts that begin with the tongue-in-cheek phrase of "An Accurate Look at:"] With that in mind, there really isn't anything much I can mention without spoiling the story, other than some of the most important elements of the book were omitted, making many of the characters seem either excessively flat or just too over-the-top. By reducing the comic's story to an action-packed teen comedy, the mood of the book is completely killed. It was like listening to someone try to tell someone else about something they'd heard but don't know about. Some of the details are there, but the information is just plain wrong.

While the room howled with laughter and applause, I literally exclaimed "What the f#%@?" while looking around. You know that clichéd supervillain hand gesture? Where the fingers are spread out, gripping something that isn't there? It might be easier to visualize if I use a picture:

I'm not even joking when I tell you that my hands hurt afterwards from them both being in that position due to rage. By now, I should be no stranger to Hollywood butchering my favourite comics, but that doesn't make me less annoyed each time it happens. I'm used to facepalming in movie theatres, but this is the first time I've hurt myself due to anger. Yes, something is most definitely wrong with me.

Once again, Hollywood misses the point of the source material. The book is about a young man who tries something ridiculous, and through his actions and interactions with others, learns about the world and grows as a character. It's a coming of age story about missing youths, illusions, expectations, and violence. The movie conveniently pushes all that character junk aside and focuses on the ridiculous. Sure, it's funny, and I laughed at times, but there is more to the Kick-Ass of the comic's world than just comedy. As the book shows us (graphically at times), the joke ends, and that's when reality begins.

The Kick-Ass movie entirely misses the point, mood, message, and spirit of the comic and does not do it justice. It feels like the whole flick would be one of Dave's daydreams in biology class, wearing his Kick-Ass costume under his school clothes. It's that excessive. Yes, I'm attached to the comic, but I'm able to recognize its flaws and shortcomings. Unfortunately, the unplausible elements of the comic were only made worse in the movie. Compared to the movie, the book is non-fiction. Honestly, spend the money on the trade rather than the movie ticket.

Longbox Blues: Deadpool #15-16, #900

I'm gonna come right out and say it: I'm a Deadpool fan.

I know, I know. Deadpool is the new Wolverine. An overused, annoying, whored-out character that isn't funny but brings in mucho $ for the House of Ideas.

It wasn't always this way. I should mention that I'm a fan of oldschool Deadpool, from the Joe Kelly era. That's right, back when the character had character, when there was depth to the Merc with a Mouth. When he was actually funny. Joe Kelly's Deadpool run actually made me laugh out loud at times, something that really doesn't happen when I read comics. Heck, I'm such a fan of that period of Deadpool history that I even dressed up as him for Halloween. (And yes, that post was written in character.)

I decided to check out Deadpool's new story: him joining the X-Men. Wait, didn't that already happen before, and didn't he get a way better costume than this new ugly yellow one?


The issues began with a "Previously in Deadpool" page, which reminded me of the recap pages from Kelly-era Deadpool. That felt nice. Then I read the recap page and literally wondered "WTF."

Apparently, Wade got himself a crapload of money, bought a nuclear sub, sank it, used a tugboat to pull it, turned the tugboat into a pirate ship, tried to free the people of some island, and the sub exploded.

Since when did Deadpool become a rejected Family Guy sketch?

#15 started off strong. Stranded at sea, Wade starts to lose it. Or rather, continues to lose it. I couldn't help but think of Tales of the Black Freighter and the oldschool SNL "Land Shark" sketches (which Joe Kelly made a reference to back in '97), but that's probably just me.

He eventually gets back to shore, and the book climaxes in a very nonsensical scene that wasn't funny at all. #16 picks up soon afterwards, with Wade on the X-Men's island, applying to the team.

Cyclops later sends Domino to find Deadpool and to speak to him. Those two go way back. If I'm not mistaken, they both first appeared in New Mutants #98. The fight scene was supposed to be entertaining, but ultimately fell very, very flat. Pun NOT intended.

The jokes were lame, the story didn't make sense, and Wade looks like a freakin' burn victim rather than the disfigured monster he's supposed to be. I won't be writing about the rest of the arc because I'm not going to be reading it.

I also decided to pick up Deadpool #900. I figured that if any modern Deadpool book could be good, it would be a super-sized collection of short Deadpool stories by different people. Hell, Joe Kelly was even writing one!

#900 is a series of unrelated, uninteresting, and unoriginal short stories featuring Deadpool. Modern "lol, i has 2 vioces in mah hed" Deadpool. One of the tales was an homage to Deadpool #42, "Silent But Deadly Interlude," which in turn was an homage to G.I. Joe #21, "Silent Interlude." That one was OK. Watching Wade noiselessly fight mimes was strange in a good way, but the plot made little sense. Another featured Deadpool and a shrink. It was very bizarre, and I can honestly say that it was the only story in the book that I actually liked. The Joe Kelly story, unfortunately, was drawn by [shudder] Rob Liefeld. I know that it's only fair, since he DID co-create the character, but seriously, that man should not be allowed near pencils or any other stationary paraphernalia. The story itself wasn't good, nor funny, though it did give readers a glimpse into Wade's childhood, and into Deadpool's mysterious pouches. And the final story is a reprint of Deadpool Team-Up #1, which was awful and really felt like something out of a Wolverine story.

It's hard to be a Deadpool fan. I was disappointed by all of those books and I really don't like what they've done with/to the character. I'll go hug my Classic Deadpool trades and cry myself to sleep, I guess.

Snikt!

By Joe Milone

The X-Men have appeared in animation many times over the course of the last twenty-something years from a guest appearance in Spiderman and his Amazing Friends, to the failed pilot known as Pryde of the X-Men.

But since the 90’s there have been 2 Long running X-Men shows, the Fox kids Classic X-Men, and the odd (at least in my opinion) X–Men Evolution, which cast most of the main characters as teenagers. I’ll gripe about that show in a later column.

But this past January (well at least in the US), a new chapter in the lives of our favorite animated mutants debuted, called Wolverine and the X-Men.

This series starts out with the X-Men disbanding after an explosion occurs at Xavier’s institute resulting in both the Professor and Jean Grey disappearing. This causes the team to disband and Cyclops goes all Emo. A year later the MRD (Mutant Response Division) starts to hunt down and imprison all the mutants. This prompts Wolverine to take charge and reform the X-Men, first bringing Beast back into the fold. Then we get a few more recruits back to the mansion, including Emma Frost. I do believe this is the first time The former White Queen has been animated, but I could be wrong

I won’t ruin the rest of the plot of the first season for those who haven’t watched it yet, because it is on par with the Fox X-Men show and has the potential to be even greater. The whole first season has already aired in Canada while we have only gotten to episode 13 here in the states.

The animation, voice acting and stories are top notch. Even considering that it is being produced by the same team who brought us X-Men- Evolution. Personally I can’t wait to see how the first season ends, and I hope that this show could run for a long time.

Any how, if you want to see this great show click here Wolverine and the X-Men
They have every episode that has aired on Nicktoons thus far. If you have ever been an X-Men fan in your lifetime, you owe it to yourself to check out this show. You won’t regret it.

When Captain America throws his Mighty Shield!!!

When Captain America throws his mighty shield!
By Joe Milone

Just a few days ago I was having a chat with my friend and fellow contributor to the Nail Gun, Dave Swan. One of the things we touched on was how long it would take for Steve Rogers to come back to life and return to the role of Captain America.

Well it looks like the conversation was topical because just a few days later Marvel Comics announced that the original Star Spangled Avenger would be returning on July 1st with a miniseries titled Captain America Reborn.

It was bound to happen sooner or later as no one truly stays dead in comics. How it will happen, I have no idea. But I do look forward to seeing it unfold. For me it will be the first Cap comic I purchase in over 15 years.

Ed Brubaker’s run on Captain America has been highly acclaimed and following Roger’s death Cap’s former sidekick Bucky was placed in the role of Captain America. But this was a Cap who used a gun along side of the famous shield. To me Cap doesn’t need a gun, which is why I look forward to seeing the real deal return to life. Plus the new Cap costume is horribly bad, looking more like something out of Buck Rogers (but maybe I'm just a sucker for the classics)

It doesn't surprise me though. With The Captain America and Avengers movies announced, I would think that Marvel would want the comics to match the big screen. And Marvel would like both to be big successes.

Two questions come to mind as a result of this revelation:
What will happen to Bucky?
And how long will it take before DC comics follows suit and returns Bruce Wayne to the mantle as Batman?

Stay tuned True Believers.