Besides for a few syndicated episodes I saw at a friend's place, a handful of others in translation, the episode on the DVD I found in a box of Orville Redenbacher's, and the entire Marvel Comics limited series, I'm not exactly familiar with the classic A-Team TV show. I know the premise, I know the characters, but I haven't seen enough of that action-filled program to tell just how accurate Hollywood's new big-screen adaptation of it is. That being said, I laughed a lot watching the TV show, and in the movie theatre, I grinned from start to finish.
Now, normally I'm very, VERY weary of Hollywood adaptations or, even worse, "reimaginings" or existing franchises. If you've read any of my other tongue-in-cheekly titled "Accurate Look at" reviews here on The Nail Gun, you might see why: they're half-assed cashgrabs that don't care about the source material and will deface whatever they want to make that money. The A-Team, however, is not like that. Unlike those other movies which are completely brainless, The A-Team is smart. It is well thought out, well-written, and is in on the joke. It is supposed to be over-the-top and characters even mention that it's completely ridiculous. It is carefully planned action with brains behind it, rather than the usual shootout/explosion/car chase/fight scene formula of action flicks, with awful writing, bad acting, too much CGI, and fake tits thrown in. The action is over-the-top on purpose for the sake of intense humour, rather than just plain excessive in order to drive up the CG bill. It's a light-hearted action comedy, really, and the humour and adrenaline does not stop.
The film starts with an explanation of how the team came together, and how B.A. got his fear of flying. A friend of mine told me that the opening scene itself was worth the price of admission. Had I left the theatre once that high-octane introduction was over, I would have got my money's worth. But instead, I stayed until the end and got more than I bargained for.
The A-Team was better than I expected and much better than it should have been. I love Liam Neeson, and his Hannibal combines the cool wisdom of Qui-Gon Jinn with the badassity of his character from Taken. Bradley Cooper is great as Face, the ladykiller disguise guy. I wasn't sure what to think about the casting choice for B.A. (they used some UFC fighter), but he was able to act, and he won me over in very little time. And of course, District 9's Sweetie Man returns with a vengeance and knocks 'em dead as Howlin' Mad Murdock. This guy had talent with a capital T and I'm looking forward to his other projects. In terms of story, the movie explains the team's origins and the events that lead up to their needing to run from the law. You know, the stuff the narrator mentions in the opening of the TV show. Yeah, that stuff. He basically summarizes the movie for you. Not that that's any excuse to miss this one.
The story itself is a rather convoluted scheme of secrets and mysteries which isn't exactly plausible, but neither are most of the action sequences, but it's all part of the fun. It's so ridiculous that anything can happen, so viewers aren't sure what to expect, despite the Team's careful planning of every mission. That's another thing that separates The A-Team from crappy action flicks - the Team fights not only with guns, fists, helicopters, and GMC vans. They use their heads and plan things out rather that rushing in with explosions and bad CG. It's a smart, genuinely funny action movie instead of a brainless action flick that ruins a timeless franchise, which is what it would have been in someone else's hands.
It's not all plausible, it's not all credible, it doesn't all make sense, but it is ridiculous on purpose. It's a fun, exciting and genuinely enjoyable comedic action film with brains and lots of love for the source material. There are even a few cameos by two of the original A-Team TV show actors. I laughed much more than I anticipated, and when I wasn't laughing, there was still a huge grin on my face. While I strongly doubt older A-Team fans (the ones who tuned into the show every week) will be quite as thrilled as I was, the movie delivers the action and characters to a new generation, while maintaining the fun of the classic program. It's well worth checking out. Just lighten up and get ready to laugh.
EDIT: Having just watched some oldschool A-Team, I have to say that the movie is truer to the show than I thought. Some elements of the TV series were translated beautifully to the screen, such as the Team's smart-talking, the building-stuff montages, and Murdock's Howling Madness.
Showing posts with label movies. Show all posts
Showing posts with label movies. Show all posts
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
An Accurate Look at: Hollywood's "Kick-Ass" Adaptation
When I first saw an issue of the Kick-Ass comic on the wall of my favourite comic shop (Carsley's Comics, Montreal's best-kept secret!), I couldn't help but smile. The title, art, and tagline grabbed my interest, and when I finally bought the first issue and read it, I couldn't wait for more. I read them all and really got attached to them. I guess, as a horny bespectacled geek with incredible powers of opposite sex repulsion, the comic really spoke to me. And let's be honest, you've wanted to, at one point or another, be able to do superheroics. I know I have. There, I said it.
I love the book. When I heard about the movie, I was excited. (Well, rather, read about the movie in the back of an issue.) The TV spots and trailers got me pumped. I wasn't crazy about the costume redesigns, but hey, I was sort of expecting that. As long as they didn't mess up the coming-of-age superhero story, I'd be happy.
So I get to the movie theatre and a brace myself for the ride. I mean, the comic is a straight-forward 8-issue miniseries which I read in 2 hours. How could they possibly mess up a film adaptation?
Surprise, kiddies. They messed up the film adaptation. I had no issues with the casting, and the generic superhero-ish music was good. It starts out accurately enough, but then it all falls apart. It's like the writers read the comic, picked-and-chose points they liked, threw out meaningful, important elements that should have stayed, and tossed in needless excessive action-flick content instead of the characters and story that made the book so great.
If you've read my other movie-related articles, you know I don't write spoilers. [And if you haven't read them, just browse the site for posts that begin with the tongue-in-cheek phrase of "An Accurate Look at:"] With that in mind, there really isn't anything much I can mention without spoiling the story, other than some of the most important elements of the book were omitted, making many of the characters seem either excessively flat or just too over-the-top. By reducing the comic's story to an action-packed teen comedy, the mood of the book is completely killed. It was like listening to someone try to tell someone else about something they'd heard but don't know about. Some of the details are there, but the information is just plain wrong.
While the room howled with laughter and applause, I literally exclaimed "What the f#%@?" while looking around. You know that clichéd supervillain hand gesture? Where the fingers are spread out, gripping something that isn't there? It might be easier to visualize if I use a picture:
I'm not even joking when I tell you that my hands hurt afterwards from them both being in that position due to rage. By now, I should be no stranger to Hollywood butchering my favourite comics, but that doesn't make me less annoyed each time it happens. I'm used to facepalming in movie theatres, but this is the first time I've hurt myself due to anger. Yes, something is most definitely wrong with me.
Once again, Hollywood misses the point of the source material. The book is about a young man who tries something ridiculous, and through his actions and interactions with others, learns about the world and grows as a character. It's a coming of age story about missing youths, illusions, expectations, and violence. The movie conveniently pushes all that character junk aside and focuses on the ridiculous. Sure, it's funny, and I laughed at times, but there is more to the Kick-Ass of the comic's world than just comedy. As the book shows us (graphically at times), the joke ends, and that's when reality begins.
The Kick-Ass movie entirely misses the point, mood, message, and spirit of the comic and does not do it justice. It feels like the whole flick would be one of Dave's daydreams in biology class, wearing his Kick-Ass costume under his school clothes. It's that excessive. Yes, I'm attached to the comic, but I'm able to recognize its flaws and shortcomings. Unfortunately, the unplausible elements of the comic were only made worse in the movie. Compared to the movie, the book is non-fiction. Honestly, spend the money on the trade rather than the movie ticket.
I love the book. When I heard about the movie, I was excited. (Well, rather, read about the movie in the back of an issue.) The TV spots and trailers got me pumped. I wasn't crazy about the costume redesigns, but hey, I was sort of expecting that. As long as they didn't mess up the coming-of-age superhero story, I'd be happy.
So I get to the movie theatre and a brace myself for the ride. I mean, the comic is a straight-forward 8-issue miniseries which I read in 2 hours. How could they possibly mess up a film adaptation?
Surprise, kiddies. They messed up the film adaptation. I had no issues with the casting, and the generic superhero-ish music was good. It starts out accurately enough, but then it all falls apart. It's like the writers read the comic, picked-and-chose points they liked, threw out meaningful, important elements that should have stayed, and tossed in needless excessive action-flick content instead of the characters and story that made the book so great.
If you've read my other movie-related articles, you know I don't write spoilers. [And if you haven't read them, just browse the site for posts that begin with the tongue-in-cheek phrase of "An Accurate Look at:"] With that in mind, there really isn't anything much I can mention without spoiling the story, other than some of the most important elements of the book were omitted, making many of the characters seem either excessively flat or just too over-the-top. By reducing the comic's story to an action-packed teen comedy, the mood of the book is completely killed. It was like listening to someone try to tell someone else about something they'd heard but don't know about. Some of the details are there, but the information is just plain wrong.
While the room howled with laughter and applause, I literally exclaimed "What the f#%@?" while looking around. You know that clichéd supervillain hand gesture? Where the fingers are spread out, gripping something that isn't there? It might be easier to visualize if I use a picture:
I'm not even joking when I tell you that my hands hurt afterwards from them both being in that position due to rage. By now, I should be no stranger to Hollywood butchering my favourite comics, but that doesn't make me less annoyed each time it happens. I'm used to facepalming in movie theatres, but this is the first time I've hurt myself due to anger. Yes, something is most definitely wrong with me.
Once again, Hollywood misses the point of the source material. The book is about a young man who tries something ridiculous, and through his actions and interactions with others, learns about the world and grows as a character. It's a coming of age story about missing youths, illusions, expectations, and violence. The movie conveniently pushes all that character junk aside and focuses on the ridiculous. Sure, it's funny, and I laughed at times, but there is more to the Kick-Ass of the comic's world than just comedy. As the book shows us (graphically at times), the joke ends, and that's when reality begins.
The Kick-Ass movie entirely misses the point, mood, message, and spirit of the comic and does not do it justice. It feels like the whole flick would be one of Dave's daydreams in biology class, wearing his Kick-Ass costume under his school clothes. It's that excessive. Yes, I'm attached to the comic, but I'm able to recognize its flaws and shortcomings. Unfortunately, the unplausible elements of the comic were only made worse in the movie. Compared to the movie, the book is non-fiction. Honestly, spend the money on the trade rather than the movie ticket.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
An Accurate Look at: "Halo Legends"
Say what you want about fratboys' favourite game involving using thumbsticks to have generic Mary Sue space marines shoot at each other, but the Halo universe is surprisingly deep and fleshed-out, unlike many of the franchise's fans. Whether you like the games for the story, the music, the technology, the characters, the world design, or the multiplayer, or are just a fan of the comics, novels, or merchandise and have never played the games, there's something for you in Halo Legends. Even if you're not very familiar with the Halo universe, Legends is an exciting sci-fi journey that will introduce you to the war-torn galaxy and thrust you into it.
Halo Legends is a series of eight animated episodes (the first two being halves of one story), made by Production I.G, the group responsible for the groundbreaking Ghost in the Shell animés (without a doubt, 2nd Gig is one of the greatest seasons of television I have ever had the privilege of watching, animated or otherwise). The first 2 chapters introduce the history of the Halo universe. As a PC gamer who hasn't yet played Halo 2 since I wasn't going to get a new OS just to play it and Halo 3 isn't even available yet, these episodes were helpful in getting me caught up. They're slow, but dark. Chapter 3, "The Duel," is a heavily-stylized tale featuring the Arbiter being torn between duty and honour. Chapter 4 is titled "Homecoming" and follows a Spartan-II subject who didn't want to be chosen, and features one of the songs right from the soundtrack of HALO: Combat Evolved used particularly effectively. Chapter 5, "Odd One Out," is the story of (I kid you not), Spartan 1337, the clumsy one (remind you of anyone?). It serves as much-needed comic relief, considering the depth and darkness of the other shorts. Chapter 6, "Prototype," is a return to seriousness, in which a troubled sergeant tries to fight the ghosts of his past. (Also, the vehicle introduced in this chapter SERIOUSLY needs to be made into an action figure.) I should also mention that fans of Production I.G's Ghost in the Shell series might pick up on a reference they planted in this episode. The seventh chapter is called "The Babysitter" and follows some ODSTs on the mission of their lives. Which might just be the last mission of their lives. And the final short, "The Package," is a CG-animated space-flying dog-fighting battle as a team of Spartans, led by the Master Chief himself, attempt to retrieve a package stolen by the Covenant.
Legends is immensely enjoyable and exceeded my expectations. The format of a series of short films works to its advantage, showing different facets of the war in ways a single two-hour film could not. My biggest complaint about Legends is the lack of the games' original voice actors. Having Cortana voiced by anyone other than the lovely Jen Taylor just feels wrong. Granted, the actress who gives Legends' Cortana her voice does sound like Jen, but she can't act like Jen, and her performance unfortunately falls somewhat flat. I also found the ending to be a letdown. Sure, I see what they did there, but I was expecting more, especially since it started so strongly.
Halo Legends is an epic journey through time and space, across planets, peoples, and battlefields. The scope of the film is remarkable. There's much more here than just guys in space suits blowing stuff up. The seven-action packed tales present a galaxy in peril and the brave efforts of soldiers doing their jobs with impossible odds against them. I also particularly enjoyed how they portrayed the Spartans: they are looked up to by their fellow soldiers, they are feared by their enemies, and they are devastating when unleashed in the field -- but they are human. They are fallible. And they are mortal.
Legends' seven action-packed tales of sacrifice and honour are exciting, but also touching and powerful. Never thought you'd hear something Halo-related be "touching," did you? And that damn sad tune gets to me every time. Legends reveals the grit and pain of war. It's not all pulling a trigger and getting Gamerscore, boys and girls.
Halo Legends is available on DVD, Blu-Ray, and as 2-disc special edition DVD set. And no, you won't get any Achievements by watching it, but that's not a reason to avoid this adventure. Frat boy Halo fans will clearly not see the merit in Halo Legends. But for all you Halo fans out there with taste, Legends is not to be missed.
Halo Legends is a series of eight animated episodes (the first two being halves of one story), made by Production I.G, the group responsible for the groundbreaking Ghost in the Shell animés (without a doubt, 2nd Gig is one of the greatest seasons of television I have ever had the privilege of watching, animated or otherwise). The first 2 chapters introduce the history of the Halo universe. As a PC gamer who hasn't yet played Halo 2 since I wasn't going to get a new OS just to play it and Halo 3 isn't even available yet, these episodes were helpful in getting me caught up. They're slow, but dark. Chapter 3, "The Duel," is a heavily-stylized tale featuring the Arbiter being torn between duty and honour. Chapter 4 is titled "Homecoming" and follows a Spartan-II subject who didn't want to be chosen, and features one of the songs right from the soundtrack of HALO: Combat Evolved used particularly effectively. Chapter 5, "Odd One Out," is the story of (I kid you not), Spartan 1337, the clumsy one (remind you of anyone?). It serves as much-needed comic relief, considering the depth and darkness of the other shorts. Chapter 6, "Prototype," is a return to seriousness, in which a troubled sergeant tries to fight the ghosts of his past. (Also, the vehicle introduced in this chapter SERIOUSLY needs to be made into an action figure.) I should also mention that fans of Production I.G's Ghost in the Shell series might pick up on a reference they planted in this episode. The seventh chapter is called "The Babysitter" and follows some ODSTs on the mission of their lives. Which might just be the last mission of their lives. And the final short, "The Package," is a CG-animated space-flying dog-fighting battle as a team of Spartans, led by the Master Chief himself, attempt to retrieve a package stolen by the Covenant.
Legends is immensely enjoyable and exceeded my expectations. The format of a series of short films works to its advantage, showing different facets of the war in ways a single two-hour film could not. My biggest complaint about Legends is the lack of the games' original voice actors. Having Cortana voiced by anyone other than the lovely Jen Taylor just feels wrong. Granted, the actress who gives Legends' Cortana her voice does sound like Jen, but she can't act like Jen, and her performance unfortunately falls somewhat flat. I also found the ending to be a letdown. Sure, I see what they did there, but I was expecting more, especially since it started so strongly.
Halo Legends is an epic journey through time and space, across planets, peoples, and battlefields. The scope of the film is remarkable. There's much more here than just guys in space suits blowing stuff up. The seven-action packed tales present a galaxy in peril and the brave efforts of soldiers doing their jobs with impossible odds against them. I also particularly enjoyed how they portrayed the Spartans: they are looked up to by their fellow soldiers, they are feared by their enemies, and they are devastating when unleashed in the field -- but they are human. They are fallible. And they are mortal.
Legends' seven action-packed tales of sacrifice and honour are exciting, but also touching and powerful. Never thought you'd hear something Halo-related be "touching," did you? And that damn sad tune gets to me every time. Legends reveals the grit and pain of war. It's not all pulling a trigger and getting Gamerscore, boys and girls.
Halo Legends is available on DVD, Blu-Ray, and as 2-disc special edition DVD set. And no, you won't get any Achievements by watching it, but that's not a reason to avoid this adventure. Frat boy Halo fans will clearly not see the merit in Halo Legends. But for all you Halo fans out there with taste, Legends is not to be missed.
Sunday, January 3, 2010
An Accurate Look at: James Cameron's "Avatar"
Last year, I got into a free screening of a 15-minute preview of James Cameron's Avatar. You might remember that I wasn't particularly enthused. Hence my not reviewing the film when it came out in December, instead waiting until the New Year to bother seeing it. Was it worth it? Let's find out.
Avatar takes place in the future, on a dangerous, distant alien world called Pandora (note the name). Humans are there for the sole purpose of robbing it of its natural resources, an element called "unobtanium" (note the name). Along with the military forces is a team of scientists, lead by a lady named Grace (note the name) who wishes to learn of the planet rather than rape it.
The humans are obviously at odds with Pandora's natives, a race of blue anthropomorphic cats, hereafter referred to as "furries." The furries are primitive, living with nature, wearing little clothing, and fighting with bows and knives. Some uptight people would probably get upset and draw comparisons between the furries and African tribes (and there's a lot of evidence for them, believe me).
To get closer to furries and attempt any kind of communication, Grace's team technologically transmits their consciousnesses into some lab-made furry bodies. With these "avatars," they are able to roam Pandora and interact with the natives. But not all goes well, as you'd imagine.
The world of Avatar is very well-designed and feels complete. The humans have incredible technology: holograms, cryosleep, badass mech suits, and of course, the avatar technology. The furries have their own culture, their own customs, their own language, and their world is beautiful. Some of the scenery is breathtaking. And the animals of the world are frighteningly unusual. There's a real sense of being on another world. This isn't just New Zealand with a giant fibreglass tree, people.
But a fleshed-out world is nothing without characters. Unfortunately, Avatar's characters are dull archetypes. You have the Unlikely Hero/Chosen One (complete with troubled past!), the Geek Who Learns to Be A Man, the Hotshot Driver, the Gruff Drill Sergeant military guy, the Profiteer, etc. None of the characters are particularly fleshed out. They all feel very flat and uncompelling. The story has been done before. Ever seen Dances With Wolves? Then you've seen Avatar. Combine uninteresting characters with a generic, predictable lacklustre story, and what do you get? A letdown of an overhyped blockbluster.
But what about the amazing IMAX DIGITAL 4-D? Surely the stunning visual effects will redeem Cameron's flick? While I enjoyed the 3D of the 15-minute preview, those scenes were obviously chosen to demonstrate said 3D. In the final film, though, the pop-up visuals really don't stand out. While other 3D flicks milk their AMAZING 4-D GRAPHICS for all its worth with gimmicks such as axes flying "through" the screen and other objects "reaching out" towards the audience, Avatar features none of that crap. You will notice the 3D and in some scenes it looks great - just look at the hologram projectors. But as they've avoided obvious shots such as spaceships flying out of the screen, nothing in particular stands out. The 3D ends up feeling underused, and, outside of a few scenes, you'll wonder why you bothered paying so much for an Imax 3D ticket in the first place. Don't get me wrong. The 3D is constant throughout the film, it just doesn't seem to add much. Perhaps it would have ha dit not been so subtle.
Avatar is an overhyped version of Dances With Wolves set in space, with elements of Alien thrown in and some freaky furry crap off Deviant Art somehow made the cut. The good action scenes and terrific creature design do nothing to save the film's uncaptivating story and flat characters. Yet another disappointing overmarketed blockbluster.
Avatar takes place in the future, on a dangerous, distant alien world called Pandora (note the name). Humans are there for the sole purpose of robbing it of its natural resources, an element called "unobtanium" (note the name). Along with the military forces is a team of scientists, lead by a lady named Grace (note the name) who wishes to learn of the planet rather than rape it.
The humans are obviously at odds with Pandora's natives, a race of blue anthropomorphic cats, hereafter referred to as "furries." The furries are primitive, living with nature, wearing little clothing, and fighting with bows and knives. Some uptight people would probably get upset and draw comparisons between the furries and African tribes (and there's a lot of evidence for them, believe me).
To get closer to furries and attempt any kind of communication, Grace's team technologically transmits their consciousnesses into some lab-made furry bodies. With these "avatars," they are able to roam Pandora and interact with the natives. But not all goes well, as you'd imagine.
The world of Avatar is very well-designed and feels complete. The humans have incredible technology: holograms, cryosleep, badass mech suits, and of course, the avatar technology. The furries have their own culture, their own customs, their own language, and their world is beautiful. Some of the scenery is breathtaking. And the animals of the world are frighteningly unusual. There's a real sense of being on another world. This isn't just New Zealand with a giant fibreglass tree, people.
But a fleshed-out world is nothing without characters. Unfortunately, Avatar's characters are dull archetypes. You have the Unlikely Hero/Chosen One (complete with troubled past!), the Geek Who Learns to Be A Man, the Hotshot Driver, the Gruff Drill Sergeant military guy, the Profiteer, etc. None of the characters are particularly fleshed out. They all feel very flat and uncompelling. The story has been done before. Ever seen Dances With Wolves? Then you've seen Avatar. Combine uninteresting characters with a generic, predictable lacklustre story, and what do you get? A letdown of an overhyped blockbluster.
But what about the amazing IMAX DIGITAL 4-D? Surely the stunning visual effects will redeem Cameron's flick? While I enjoyed the 3D of the 15-minute preview, those scenes were obviously chosen to demonstrate said 3D. In the final film, though, the pop-up visuals really don't stand out. While other 3D flicks milk their AMAZING 4-D GRAPHICS for all its worth with gimmicks such as axes flying "through" the screen and other objects "reaching out" towards the audience, Avatar features none of that crap. You will notice the 3D and in some scenes it looks great - just look at the hologram projectors. But as they've avoided obvious shots such as spaceships flying out of the screen, nothing in particular stands out. The 3D ends up feeling underused, and, outside of a few scenes, you'll wonder why you bothered paying so much for an Imax 3D ticket in the first place. Don't get me wrong. The 3D is constant throughout the film, it just doesn't seem to add much. Perhaps it would have ha dit not been so subtle.
Avatar is an overhyped version of Dances With Wolves set in space, with elements of Alien thrown in and some freaky furry crap off Deviant Art somehow made the cut. The good action scenes and terrific creature design do nothing to save the film's uncaptivating story and flat characters. Yet another disappointing overmarketed blockbluster.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
An Accurate Look At: "This Is It"
This review will be shorter than most due to the nature of the film.
This Is It is not about Michael Jackson. It is not about his life, it is not about his death, though it does provide details about him as a person. At very least, one aspect of him - his level of commitment to his art.
This Is It follows the making-of process of what was to be Michael Jackson's ultimate concert. That's pretty much all you need to know. As you'd expect from a Michael Jackson performance, it is a treat to watch and listen to.
Plenty of behind-the-scenes footage is shown: choreography, makeup/costumes, special effects, lighting, etc. You really get a sense of how much of a perfectionist Michael Jackson was in terms of his music. The film features some of his all-time classics (I won't name any songs to prevent spoilers) and to see them come to life in such wonderful, strange, and unexpected ways was nothing short of amazing.
If you are a fan of Michael Jackson, you really need to see This Is It. And stay for the credits. The extra little bonuses at the end of the credits are worth it. One of them in particular made me day.
This Is It is not about Michael Jackson. It is not about his life, it is not about his death, though it does provide details about him as a person. At very least, one aspect of him - his level of commitment to his art.
This Is It follows the making-of process of what was to be Michael Jackson's ultimate concert. That's pretty much all you need to know. As you'd expect from a Michael Jackson performance, it is a treat to watch and listen to.
Plenty of behind-the-scenes footage is shown: choreography, makeup/costumes, special effects, lighting, etc. You really get a sense of how much of a perfectionist Michael Jackson was in terms of his music. The film features some of his all-time classics (I won't name any songs to prevent spoilers) and to see them come to life in such wonderful, strange, and unexpected ways was nothing short of amazing.
If you are a fan of Michael Jackson, you really need to see This Is It. And stay for the credits. The extra little bonuses at the end of the credits are worth it. One of them in particular made me day.
Friday, October 16, 2009
An Accurate Look At: "Zombieland"
A few months back, my buddy bought a $20 game for his Wii - House of the Dead: Overkill. Basically, it's like a video game version of Grindhouse, only you hold onto controllers instead of bags of popcorn.
Zombieland is, to put it simply, like a movie version of House of the Dead: Overkill. Plenty of action, lots of violence and gore, and great humour.
The TV spots really make it look stupid, but when I saw the trailer attached to District 9, my opinion changed. The trailer made Zombieland look like a laugh-filled action-packed romp through the zombie apocalypse, with sexual tension thrown in for good measure. Seemed sorta like Superbad with zombies (and not just because Jules is in it). Count me in!
The movie begins with a lame explanation of how the zombie infection began and spread, and though it is not plausible scientifically, it works in the humourous over-the-top-world of Zombieland. The main character/narrator, played by the guy from Adventureland (hmm, typecasted as -land movie protagonists?). It's not that I don't like him, it's just that I get the feeling that he's a Michael Cera replacement. "We can't get Mr. Cera, sir." "Then get me another funny, awkward, curly-haired Jew instead!"
The characters in the film don't have names. In order to prevent needless emotional attachment, the characters know each other by place names: where they're from, or where they're going. There are a few characters who do have names, but names are more like titles - in order to have a name, you have to earn/deserve it.
Columbus is the narrator, our guide through the United States of Zombieland. Throughout his travels, he will meet up with the badass Tallahassee (who "sets the standard of 'not to be fucked with'") and the sisters Wichita and Little Rock while trying to get back to his hometown of Columbus, Ohio, to find his family which may or may not still be alive.
Which brings me to an interesting idea. The survivors of Zombieland managed to live for one reason - they are smart. Columbus has a series of rules which he lives by, rules which keep him alive. Tallahassee knows how to fight, and then some. The sisters are con artists, and while they lack the survival skills of Tallahassee, or the structured logic of Columbus, they have remained alive due to their uncanny abilities of heartbreaking and swindling. But you can't swindle a zombie, so when they run out of humans they can exploit, they'll find themselves in a whole world of hurt.
Two things really surprised me about Zombieland. 1) The humour is fantastic. It is genuinely funny. I mean, really laugh-out-loud whole-theatre-roaring funny. I laughed harder than I thought and I would and loved it. 2) The writing was great. Zombieland is better written than it has any right to be. The dialogue was terrific and there was actual characterization. The characters are not just faceless zombie-killers. They each have backstories developed through flashbacks and dialogue. The characters are darker and deeper than you'd expect. I was caught by surprise. I should also point out that the acting was very good, better than the TV spots would lead you to believe. The good casting perfectly complements the writing and the characters really come to life. Excuse the unintended pun.
If you forgive the pun, it's a hilarious zombie film with brains. Put it on your shelf between Shawn of the Dead and the Evil Dead trilogy.
Zombieland is, to put it simply, like a movie version of House of the Dead: Overkill. Plenty of action, lots of violence and gore, and great humour.
The TV spots really make it look stupid, but when I saw the trailer attached to District 9, my opinion changed. The trailer made Zombieland look like a laugh-filled action-packed romp through the zombie apocalypse, with sexual tension thrown in for good measure. Seemed sorta like Superbad with zombies (and not just because Jules is in it). Count me in!
The movie begins with a lame explanation of how the zombie infection began and spread, and though it is not plausible scientifically, it works in the humourous over-the-top-world of Zombieland. The main character/narrator, played by the guy from Adventureland (hmm, typecasted as -land movie protagonists?). It's not that I don't like him, it's just that I get the feeling that he's a Michael Cera replacement. "We can't get Mr. Cera, sir." "Then get me another funny, awkward, curly-haired Jew instead!"
The characters in the film don't have names. In order to prevent needless emotional attachment, the characters know each other by place names: where they're from, or where they're going. There are a few characters who do have names, but names are more like titles - in order to have a name, you have to earn/deserve it.
Columbus is the narrator, our guide through the United States of Zombieland. Throughout his travels, he will meet up with the badass Tallahassee (who "sets the standard of 'not to be fucked with'") and the sisters Wichita and Little Rock while trying to get back to his hometown of Columbus, Ohio, to find his family which may or may not still be alive.
Which brings me to an interesting idea. The survivors of Zombieland managed to live for one reason - they are smart. Columbus has a series of rules which he lives by, rules which keep him alive. Tallahassee knows how to fight, and then some. The sisters are con artists, and while they lack the survival skills of Tallahassee, or the structured logic of Columbus, they have remained alive due to their uncanny abilities of heartbreaking and swindling. But you can't swindle a zombie, so when they run out of humans they can exploit, they'll find themselves in a whole world of hurt.
Two things really surprised me about Zombieland. 1) The humour is fantastic. It is genuinely funny. I mean, really laugh-out-loud whole-theatre-roaring funny. I laughed harder than I thought and I would and loved it. 2) The writing was great. Zombieland is better written than it has any right to be. The dialogue was terrific and there was actual characterization. The characters are not just faceless zombie-killers. They each have backstories developed through flashbacks and dialogue. The characters are darker and deeper than you'd expect. I was caught by surprise. I should also point out that the acting was very good, better than the TV spots would lead you to believe. The good casting perfectly complements the writing and the characters really come to life. Excuse the unintended pun.
If you forgive the pun, it's a hilarious zombie film with brains. Put it on your shelf between Shawn of the Dead and the Evil Dead trilogy.
Friday, September 11, 2009
An Accurate Look At: "District 9"
When I first heard of District 9, I thought it was a spin-off of and/or sequel to Banlieue 13. I couldn't have been more wrong. District 9 is a science-fiction film set in South Africa, and deals with themes of segregation, dehumanization, and oppression. I would make an "I see what you did there" comment, but I'm too awestruck to try to be witty.
District 9 is probably the best film I've seen all year. Yes, it's even better than my other favourite film of the year, Inglourious Basterds, though not funny nor hilariously entertaining. District 9 is very dark, very violent, and most importantly, very, very good.
20 years prior to the beginning of the film, an alien ship arrived on Earth. The extraterrestrial behemoth occupied the skies over Johannesburg. The world waited...
But nothing happened. The ship just floated there in the air. A piece fell off, but that was it. So, the humans decided to fly up to the ship in helicopters and open it up themselves. Inside were the aliens: insect-like and vaguely humanoid, they were suffering aboard their ship.
So, the humans housed the aliens in a place called "District 9," which soon became a shanty town. The aliens were not hostile, but were treated as second-class citizens and weren't welcome in the city. Tensions between humans and aliens rose, riots broke out, etc. The humans basically just oppressed the aliens, limited their breeding, and stole their technology. Alien weaponry requires alien DNA to use them, so the humans couldn't get their hands on advanced energy weapons and the like.
One day, the humans decide to relocate the aliens from their ghetto in District 9 to a new 'housing' area called District 10, which is really just a concentration camp. Multinational Union [MNU] officers go door to door tricking the aliens into signing their eviction notices.
But a recently-promoted MNU official gets in way over his head, and soon finds himself stripped of his position, hunted by the people he worked for, and at odds against Nigerian criminals.
Poignant social commentary, District 9 brings up issues like corruption, hate, and propaganda. The aliens are bizarre shelled bipedal insect-like crustaceans, dubbed "prawns." The art design in terms of the creatures and the alien technology is fantastic. The aliens look monstrous, but have gentle eyes. Their weapons and vehicles are very futuristic and cool. And one particular piece of hardware [which I hope they make a toy of!] is just incredibly badass. The visual effects are good too, and the audio aspect of the film is terrific. The aliens' sounds and language is great - sounds effects like tubes detaching, liquids spewing, and weapons firing were excellent. The music is terrific.
District 9 is not for every one. Some might be turned away due to the subject matter, and those are probably the people who should see this movie. There is also a lot of violence and gore, plenty of cursing, some frightening images, and a handful of particularly gruesome scenes. It starts out slow as a mockumentary, moves into more disturbing territory, and features an action-packed climax.
District 9 is dark, violent, and disturbing. It will thrill you, shock you, and make you feel like shit. Thought-provoking and touching, I thoroughly enjoyed this film and strongly recommend it.
District 9 is probably the best film I've seen all year. Yes, it's even better than my other favourite film of the year, Inglourious Basterds, though not funny nor hilariously entertaining. District 9 is very dark, very violent, and most importantly, very, very good.
20 years prior to the beginning of the film, an alien ship arrived on Earth. The extraterrestrial behemoth occupied the skies over Johannesburg. The world waited...
But nothing happened. The ship just floated there in the air. A piece fell off, but that was it. So, the humans decided to fly up to the ship in helicopters and open it up themselves. Inside were the aliens: insect-like and vaguely humanoid, they were suffering aboard their ship.
So, the humans housed the aliens in a place called "District 9," which soon became a shanty town. The aliens were not hostile, but were treated as second-class citizens and weren't welcome in the city. Tensions between humans and aliens rose, riots broke out, etc. The humans basically just oppressed the aliens, limited their breeding, and stole their technology. Alien weaponry requires alien DNA to use them, so the humans couldn't get their hands on advanced energy weapons and the like.
One day, the humans decide to relocate the aliens from their ghetto in District 9 to a new 'housing' area called District 10, which is really just a concentration camp. Multinational Union [MNU] officers go door to door tricking the aliens into signing their eviction notices.
But a recently-promoted MNU official gets in way over his head, and soon finds himself stripped of his position, hunted by the people he worked for, and at odds against Nigerian criminals.
Poignant social commentary, District 9 brings up issues like corruption, hate, and propaganda. The aliens are bizarre shelled bipedal insect-like crustaceans, dubbed "prawns." The art design in terms of the creatures and the alien technology is fantastic. The aliens look monstrous, but have gentle eyes. Their weapons and vehicles are very futuristic and cool. And one particular piece of hardware [which I hope they make a toy of!] is just incredibly badass. The visual effects are good too, and the audio aspect of the film is terrific. The aliens' sounds and language is great - sounds effects like tubes detaching, liquids spewing, and weapons firing were excellent. The music is terrific.
District 9 is not for every one. Some might be turned away due to the subject matter, and those are probably the people who should see this movie. There is also a lot of violence and gore, plenty of cursing, some frightening images, and a handful of particularly gruesome scenes. It starts out slow as a mockumentary, moves into more disturbing territory, and features an action-packed climax.
District 9 is dark, violent, and disturbing. It will thrill you, shock you, and make you feel like shit. Thought-provoking and touching, I thoroughly enjoyed this film and strongly recommend it.
Saturday, August 22, 2009
An Early Look At: James Cameron's "Avatar"
So I managed to get passes to that free Avatar screening. I really didn't get it. It was 15 minutes long, started with the dude from Daily Planet telling me to put my glasses on, and the cloaked bald kid with wind powers never showed up at all!
Alright, I'm just joking.
James Cameron's Avatar is an upcoming fantasy film which takes place on a bizarre alien world, and is not to be confused with M. Night's The Last Airbender.
Knowing next to nothing about the film save for the general premise and what a few of the toys looked like, I didn't know what to expect from the free 15-minute show in Imax 3D.
After a brief introduction from the director [he basically says, "Here, have this instead of a trailer"], the audience was treated to a series of clips from the first half of the movie - "no major spoilers," as Cameron's 3D image put it.
Avatar takes place in the 22nd Century. There's some kind of hostile and very dangerous alien world called Pandora which a military unit will be visiting, but the audience doesn't know why. The world is inhabited by creatures who fight with neurotoxin-poisoned arrows and they really don't sound friendly! One of the humans is a marine in a wheelchair by the name of Jake. From what I understand, he's the main character.
I had a very hard time watching that first segment due to the 3D. This ain't no blue-and-red-plastic crap - this Imax 3D actually works! It just takes a while to get used to, and until I did, the image seemed blurry and I felt rather dizzy. But once I got used to it [which didn't even take five minutes], I had no problem at all enjoying the scenes in stunning 3D. Small details like floating leaves and 3D subtitles were particularly nice touches.
Anyway, Jake travels to some kind of lab on Pandora, where he has his mind technologically transferred to the body of one of the strange blue Pandorian creatures. The creatures are taller than humans, have large yellow eyes, a tail, stripes, and look rather feline. [Other humans undergo the same procedure; perhaps this is how they survive on the dangerous world.] The characters referred to Jake's new body as his "avatar," the new being that he controls. In his strange new body, Jake is able to do things he couldn't in his human form - such as use his legs. He is free from his wheelchair, and proceeds to ignore orders and leave the lab.
Outside, the 3D really shines. The dense jungle is brought to life and the creatures look even more terrifying. A note to parents - the giant creatures of Pandora really do look creepy, and I imagine that a scene in which Jake is chased by a huge predator would terrify children, even if it wasn't in 3D.
In his new body, Jake makes contact with the blue creatures, one of which he's currently using, and the following scenes suggest that he becomes part of their tribe, or learns their way of life. Jake is how the audience learns about the world of Pandora - they must watch him struggle with creatures and customs of the world.
In one scene, Jake tries to catch himself a winged flying dragon-like creature, with help from the blue Pandorans. In order to control the creature, they have to link minds. This is done by him first physically subduing the beast and forcibly inserting the tentacles from his long hair into an opening on the dragon's antenna.
Yes, I watched a blue furry rape a dragon -- in glorious 3D.
The last 30 seconds of the screening was a fast-paced montage of other shots from the movie - the humans arrive, and they bring their tech. Trucks that look like the Warthog from Halo, mechs and aerospace fighters that look like they were lifted from the G.I. Joe: Sigma 6 line.
What I saw was impressive because the 3D was so good, but also because the world of Pandora was so beautiful. The huge jungles, the strange life forms, the unusual rock formations, the glowing green flowers in the night - it's an alien world, all right, and it sure looks like one.
I couldn't help but get a video game feeling from what I saw - hero takes on this "avatar," explores a strange world, learns new skills, and probably will have to save it from the bad guys. Sounds like pretty much any game I've ever played.
The free screening was great, but I'm more indifferent than curious, or excited. I know slightly more about the movie than I did going in, but still not enough to care. Let me guess, this alien world is threatened by the humans instead of the other way 'round - oh no, the tables have turned! Admittedly, 15 minutes of footage taken from other several scenes can't do the movie justice. It looks like an epic fantasy adventure with sci-fi elements, and the 3D is great. But I really don't like nor care about the blue furries, nor the actor who plays Jake. But hey, that's just me.
James Cameron's Avatar opens on December 18th.
Alright, I'm just joking.
James Cameron's Avatar is an upcoming fantasy film which takes place on a bizarre alien world, and is not to be confused with M. Night's The Last Airbender.
Knowing next to nothing about the film save for the general premise and what a few of the toys looked like, I didn't know what to expect from the free 15-minute show in Imax 3D.
After a brief introduction from the director [he basically says, "Here, have this instead of a trailer"], the audience was treated to a series of clips from the first half of the movie - "no major spoilers," as Cameron's 3D image put it.
Avatar takes place in the 22nd Century. There's some kind of hostile and very dangerous alien world called Pandora which a military unit will be visiting, but the audience doesn't know why. The world is inhabited by creatures who fight with neurotoxin-poisoned arrows and they really don't sound friendly! One of the humans is a marine in a wheelchair by the name of Jake. From what I understand, he's the main character.
I had a very hard time watching that first segment due to the 3D. This ain't no blue-and-red-plastic crap - this Imax 3D actually works! It just takes a while to get used to, and until I did, the image seemed blurry and I felt rather dizzy. But once I got used to it [which didn't even take five minutes], I had no problem at all enjoying the scenes in stunning 3D. Small details like floating leaves and 3D subtitles were particularly nice touches.
Anyway, Jake travels to some kind of lab on Pandora, where he has his mind technologically transferred to the body of one of the strange blue Pandorian creatures. The creatures are taller than humans, have large yellow eyes, a tail, stripes, and look rather feline. [Other humans undergo the same procedure; perhaps this is how they survive on the dangerous world.] The characters referred to Jake's new body as his "avatar," the new being that he controls. In his strange new body, Jake is able to do things he couldn't in his human form - such as use his legs. He is free from his wheelchair, and proceeds to ignore orders and leave the lab.
Outside, the 3D really shines. The dense jungle is brought to life and the creatures look even more terrifying. A note to parents - the giant creatures of Pandora really do look creepy, and I imagine that a scene in which Jake is chased by a huge predator would terrify children, even if it wasn't in 3D.
In his new body, Jake makes contact with the blue creatures, one of which he's currently using, and the following scenes suggest that he becomes part of their tribe, or learns their way of life. Jake is how the audience learns about the world of Pandora - they must watch him struggle with creatures and customs of the world.
In one scene, Jake tries to catch himself a winged flying dragon-like creature, with help from the blue Pandorans. In order to control the creature, they have to link minds. This is done by him first physically subduing the beast and forcibly inserting the tentacles from his long hair into an opening on the dragon's antenna.
Yes, I watched a blue furry rape a dragon -- in glorious 3D.
The last 30 seconds of the screening was a fast-paced montage of other shots from the movie - the humans arrive, and they bring their tech. Trucks that look like the Warthog from Halo, mechs and aerospace fighters that look like they were lifted from the G.I. Joe: Sigma 6 line.
What I saw was impressive because the 3D was so good, but also because the world of Pandora was so beautiful. The huge jungles, the strange life forms, the unusual rock formations, the glowing green flowers in the night - it's an alien world, all right, and it sure looks like one.
I couldn't help but get a video game feeling from what I saw - hero takes on this "avatar," explores a strange world, learns new skills, and probably will have to save it from the bad guys. Sounds like pretty much any game I've ever played.
The free screening was great, but I'm more indifferent than curious, or excited. I know slightly more about the movie than I did going in, but still not enough to care. Let me guess, this alien world is threatened by the humans instead of the other way 'round - oh no, the tables have turned! Admittedly, 15 minutes of footage taken from other several scenes can't do the movie justice. It looks like an epic fantasy adventure with sci-fi elements, and the 3D is great. But I really don't like nor care about the blue furries, nor the actor who plays Jake. But hey, that's just me.
James Cameron's Avatar opens on December 18th.
Friday, August 21, 2009
An Accurate Look At: "Inglourious Basterds"
It's not often that I look forward to a movie. But when I heard that Quentin Tarantino was directing a war film, I was excited. The trailer thrilled me and made me laugh. And for once, it didn't feel bad to play $12 for a movie ticket this summer.
Say what you want about Tarantino, his directorial style, his choices of music and actors, and his themes. He makes damn entertaining films which are fun, packed with action, and very memorable. I still ask people for sips of their Sprite to wash down tasty burgers. Though I probably won't be quoting Inglourious Basterds, it's still a Tarantino film to the core. [I'm not sure what Tarantino's film has to do with 1978's Inglorious Bastards, but if I had bothered to look it up, I'd probably figure something out!]
Basically, Inglourious Basterds stars Brad Pitt as a Lieutenant from Tennessee who commands a team of Jewish-American soldiers, a unit codenamed "Basterds." This highly-trained special mission force does terrible things to Nazis behind enemy lines in order to strike fear into the German army. And have fun while doing it.
The film opens with a title sequence. Tarantino loves his opening credits and makes them long with plenty of music. Basterds' is no different. I found myself laughing during the credits, possibly due to the various fonts, or the over-the-top seriousness. At any rate, it was a good sign of things to come.
But don't be misled to believe that it is a just a comedy, however. Don't let the trailer and TV spots make you think it's some kind of messed-up action flick. There IS comedy and action, but they are balanced well with suspense and drama. The first Chapter of the movie, "Once Upon a Time in Nazi-Occupied France..." could have been lifted from a serious war movie. [There was a particularly fourth-wall-breaking line that got a laugh from the audience, but it was actually a plot device and does not take away from the scene as much as I initially thought it would.] The writing, acting, and atmosphere of this first scene were all great and made for a powerful, suspenseful introduction to the film and two of its main characters. I don't think I'll be able to drink milk again without thinking of World War II.
Though Basterds featured many characters, the many of them had their nicknames and backstories explained through dialogue and flashback. For some, it might just be a single cutaway or a brief mention of what the Nazis call him, but the little information that the audience gains helps to make them care about the characters. He's not just some serious-looking commando, he's an accomplished author and specialist in German cinema. I particularly enjoyed one of the Basterds because his nickname was so damn funny and he reminded me of the Scout from Team Fortress 2. Grass grows, birds fly, sun shines, and brudda, he hurts people. [UPDATE: I'm not the only one who made that connection!]
Since the movie featured characters from different countries and of various backgrounds, there was a certain amount of stereotyping that I guess couldn't be avoided. Or, perhaps more likely, was included to make the characters easier to understand. For example, Brad Pitt's character was a brash, redneck American, and the British characters said "jolly good," called each other "chaps," and didn't understand what Winston Churchill was saying. That's not to say that the film wasn't internationally accurate. Large portions were spoken in their "proper" languages. The British spoke English, the Germans spoke German, the French spoke French, Norwegians speak Norwegian, the Greeks are taught their Greek. I much prefer it this way rather than Hollywood's typical "bad guys speak English with German accent" approach.
Speaking of dialogue, Bastards continued a Tarantino tradition - a lot of talking. Some scenes dragged on longer than they should have, and due to the nature of the film [time period, subject matter, setting, characters], the dialogue was not necessarily entertaining [don't worry, it's not as bad as Death Proof's]. You won't hear anyone ask, "You know what they call a quarter-pounder with cheese in Berlin?" The dialogue was important to set up the atmosphere and push the story forward. Sure, there was a lot of talking at times, but that's because there were several stories going on at once. Some have more talking than action, that's all. Fear not, however, as the film included another Tarantino staple - violence.
If you're squeamish and don't have a sense of humour, you probably shouldn't be watching a Tarantino film in the first place. Basterds had its share of violence - shooting, stabbing, beating, punching, head-butting, strangling, whipping, etc. I didn't find there was that much blood or gore, but some shots involving knifes were particularly bloody.
And if you're wondering about another Tarantino convention, yes, Samuel L. "Bad Muthaf#%a" Jackson is in Inglorious Basterds, in an uncredited role. Keep your eyes and ears peeled and you might catch him.
I thoroughly enjoyed Inglourious Basterds. It had me laughing, it thrilled me, it kept me guessing, and I left the theatre satisfied, eager to tell people just how good the movie was. It's not perfect - I really don't like the climax and ending, but maybe it just needs a second viewing.
If you're a fan of Tarantino and aren't offended by the subject matter, then you MUST see Inglourious Basterds. It exceeded my expectations and to say I was pleasantly surprised would be an understatement.
Say what you want about Tarantino, his directorial style, his choices of music and actors, and his themes. He makes damn entertaining films which are fun, packed with action, and very memorable. I still ask people for sips of their Sprite to wash down tasty burgers. Though I probably won't be quoting Inglourious Basterds, it's still a Tarantino film to the core. [I'm not sure what Tarantino's film has to do with 1978's Inglorious Bastards, but if I had bothered to look it up, I'd probably figure something out!]
Basically, Inglourious Basterds stars Brad Pitt as a Lieutenant from Tennessee who commands a team of Jewish-American soldiers, a unit codenamed "Basterds." This highly-trained special mission force does terrible things to Nazis behind enemy lines in order to strike fear into the German army. And have fun while doing it.
The film opens with a title sequence. Tarantino loves his opening credits and makes them long with plenty of music. Basterds' is no different. I found myself laughing during the credits, possibly due to the various fonts, or the over-the-top seriousness. At any rate, it was a good sign of things to come.
But don't be misled to believe that it is a just a comedy, however. Don't let the trailer and TV spots make you think it's some kind of messed-up action flick. There IS comedy and action, but they are balanced well with suspense and drama. The first Chapter of the movie, "Once Upon a Time in Nazi-Occupied France..." could have been lifted from a serious war movie. [There was a particularly fourth-wall-breaking line that got a laugh from the audience, but it was actually a plot device and does not take away from the scene as much as I initially thought it would.] The writing, acting, and atmosphere of this first scene were all great and made for a powerful, suspenseful introduction to the film and two of its main characters. I don't think I'll be able to drink milk again without thinking of World War II.
Though Basterds featured many characters, the many of them had their nicknames and backstories explained through dialogue and flashback. For some, it might just be a single cutaway or a brief mention of what the Nazis call him, but the little information that the audience gains helps to make them care about the characters. He's not just some serious-looking commando, he's an accomplished author and specialist in German cinema. I particularly enjoyed one of the Basterds because his nickname was so damn funny and he reminded me of the Scout from Team Fortress 2. Grass grows, birds fly, sun shines, and brudda, he hurts people. [UPDATE: I'm not the only one who made that connection!]
Since the movie featured characters from different countries and of various backgrounds, there was a certain amount of stereotyping that I guess couldn't be avoided. Or, perhaps more likely, was included to make the characters easier to understand. For example, Brad Pitt's character was a brash, redneck American, and the British characters said "jolly good," called each other "chaps," and didn't understand what Winston Churchill was saying. That's not to say that the film wasn't internationally accurate. Large portions were spoken in their "proper" languages. The British spoke English, the Germans spoke German, the French spoke French, Norwegians speak Norwegian, the Greeks are taught their Greek. I much prefer it this way rather than Hollywood's typical "bad guys speak English with German accent" approach.
Speaking of dialogue, Bastards continued a Tarantino tradition - a lot of talking. Some scenes dragged on longer than they should have, and due to the nature of the film [time period, subject matter, setting, characters], the dialogue was not necessarily entertaining [don't worry, it's not as bad as Death Proof's]. You won't hear anyone ask, "You know what they call a quarter-pounder with cheese in Berlin?" The dialogue was important to set up the atmosphere and push the story forward. Sure, there was a lot of talking at times, but that's because there were several stories going on at once. Some have more talking than action, that's all. Fear not, however, as the film included another Tarantino staple - violence.
If you're squeamish and don't have a sense of humour, you probably shouldn't be watching a Tarantino film in the first place. Basterds had its share of violence - shooting, stabbing, beating, punching, head-butting, strangling, whipping, etc. I didn't find there was that much blood or gore, but some shots involving knifes were particularly bloody.
And if you're wondering about another Tarantino convention, yes, Samuel L. "Bad Muthaf#%a" Jackson is in Inglorious Basterds, in an uncredited role. Keep your eyes and ears peeled and you might catch him.
I thoroughly enjoyed Inglourious Basterds. It had me laughing, it thrilled me, it kept me guessing, and I left the theatre satisfied, eager to tell people just how good the movie was. It's not perfect - I really don't like the climax and ending, but maybe it just needs a second viewing.
If you're a fan of Tarantino and aren't offended by the subject matter, then you MUST see Inglourious Basterds. It exceeded my expectations and to say I was pleasantly surprised would be an understatement.
Friday, August 7, 2009
An Accurate Look At: "G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra"
Have you ever had to listen to someone speak of something they know nothing about? Or had to listen to someone explain something they know nothing about to other people? If you answered "no," your answer will change if you are unfortunate enough to end up at a screening of G.I. Joke: The Return of Sigma 6.
The movie takes place in the "not-so-distant future." What does that mean? To put it simply, it means that they can introduce crap that neither makes sense nor is plausible in the Joe-verse for the sake of it: things like "pulse" energy weapons, active camo pyjamas, solid hologram projectors, vehicles/weapons/armour that belong in a bad sci-fi B-movie, and, of course, the "nanomites." This is the sort of crap you'd expect from that godawful '80s GI. Joe cartoon, which is even worse than this Hollywood attempt at G.I. Joe.
If you asked, "What are 'nanomites'?" I'll be more than glad to answer your question. In this generic action movie, "nanomites" are tiny little robots that can pretty much do anything because of the lazy writing. These silver plot-devices somehow turn green and can be used as weapon and/or medicine and/or brain controlling device. Open palm, insert face.
Haven't you heard? This is the TECHNOFUTURE where crap doesn't have to make sense!
And what terrible Hollywood movie would be complete without unlikeable characters? First, there's "Duke," who looks and sounds even more like a douchebag than the Duke we already know and loathe. His black comic-relief sidekick is a Wayans brother. I don't think I need to say anthing else.
But I will. There is little to no characterization for most of the important characters, besides for the occasional "oh gnoes, I has emotions" moments. There is not much to say about the acting, since there's hardly are there. I have literally "seen better actin' in fast-actin' Tenactin."
The characters are very underdeveloped. You meet them, they fight, stuff blows up, hurray. But you know nothing about them, and honestly, you don't have any reason to care about them. "Okay, she has a crossbow. That guy talks funny. That guy doesn't talk. Hurm. Is that it?" And as for the characters that DO have backstories which they bother to reveal, whoo boy. All of the storytelling is done by flashbacks which either feel very over-the-top and excessively dramatic, or not serious at all. So kids fight, and some douchebags want to get married. Who cares?
And speaking of the characters, the writers really went out of their way to make it feel like a soap opera. It seems like every character somehow knows each other from something they did in the distant past -- CUE FLASHBACK SEQUENCE!
The characters have been "internationalized." Rather than Fort Wadsworth's motor pool housing America's finest, this new international Pit has people from all over the world. G.I. Joe is once again Action Force, this time an Action Force made by the combined power of multiple governments. Probably easier to market the flick internationally this way.
Yet, despite the "internationalization" of the characters, the one they mess up the worse is the one best known for BEING from a foreign land. How ironic that this new reimagined Baroness is simply some American broad with badly dyed hair. That's it. No accent. Just some random white girl in a slutty costume. Hooray for plot devices. Way to go, Hollywood! Other characters just look really, really stupid - take for example "The Doctor" or the "Vipers" with ugly helmets with huge eyes and metal grins. These characters look like badly-designed comic-book villains. Unfortunately, the comic book they're from is NOT G.I. Joe.
Despite the movie taking place in the "not-so-distant future," the civilian ground vehicles are from the present day. Wait, what? How can there be airships and VTOL carriers out of Star Trek or Ghost In The Shell, but the ground vehicles remain the same? Did the governments of the world decide to ban new cars and instead invest that money into developing shuttlecrafts and bizarre submarines? Nah, it's just product placement. They can call it a "Steel Crusher APV" if they want, but it's just a lame-ass Hummer.
And speaking of "not-so-distant future," let's briefly talk about the Joes' equipment, shall we? Crossbows with self-navigating shells? Arm-mounted hologram projectors? Fancy suits of mechanical armour? What the crap? Does G.I. Joe buy gear from Stark Industries? If not, Tony should sue them for blatantly ripping off his armour. That shot of the ankles sealing up was more than just an "homage."
Honestly, though, "Delta-6 Accelerator Suit"? Come the hell on. Here I was thinking S.N.A.K.E. Armour was lame, and then they pull THIS out of their ass. Of all of the Joe eras to include in the flick, Sigma 6? WHY? If you don't believe that they intentionally tipped their hats to Sigma 6, stay 'til the end of the movie. If you can.
Like most recent generic Hollywood action flicks, this one features gimmickry such as shakycam, too much slow-motion, and plenty of sparks/explosions to get in the way of seeing whatever is supposed to be on the screen. The fight scenes aren't that entertaining and the chase scenes aren't much better. Stuff's moving, camera's shaking, can't see what's happening, some sort of explosion, a flip or two, some slow-motion, repeat. Again. And again. And again. Truly groundbreaking filmmaking.
There is some good among this sea of mediocrity. Dr. Who plays Destro and they did a good job with his character. They also explained a bit about one of his ancestors in what was probably the best scene of the movie - not that that's saying much. The new take on Zartan is fantastic. Much more plausible than the shape-shifting hologram-using ab-revealing Aussie biker gang leader.
There are several references which older Joe fans will pick up on. Don't be fooled by a few lines, an alternate costume, something to chew on, or a red helmet. Just because you might have chuckled at a line doesn't mean you didn't facepalm a few scenes back, and in no way begins to make up for the flick's numerous flaws.
The story is terrible, the acting is just awful, the music is generic, the gags aren't funny, the action is uninteresting, and the plot twists are foreseeable. Do yourself a favour - buy some Joe comics or a figure instead.
The movie takes place in the "not-so-distant future." What does that mean? To put it simply, it means that they can introduce crap that neither makes sense nor is plausible in the Joe-verse for the sake of it: things like "pulse" energy weapons, active camo pyjamas, solid hologram projectors, vehicles/weapons/armour that belong in a bad sci-fi B-movie, and, of course, the "nanomites." This is the sort of crap you'd expect from that godawful '80s GI. Joe cartoon, which is even worse than this Hollywood attempt at G.I. Joe.
If you asked, "What are 'nanomites'?" I'll be more than glad to answer your question. In this generic action movie, "nanomites" are tiny little robots that can pretty much do anything because of the lazy writing. These silver plot-devices somehow turn green and can be used as weapon and/or medicine and/or brain controlling device. Open palm, insert face.
Haven't you heard? This is the TECHNOFUTURE where crap doesn't have to make sense!
And what terrible Hollywood movie would be complete without unlikeable characters? First, there's "Duke," who looks and sounds even more like a douchebag than the Duke we already know and loathe. His black comic-relief sidekick is a Wayans brother. I don't think I need to say anthing else.
But I will. There is little to no characterization for most of the important characters, besides for the occasional "oh gnoes, I has emotions" moments. There is not much to say about the acting, since there's hardly are there. I have literally "seen better actin' in fast-actin' Tenactin."
The characters are very underdeveloped. You meet them, they fight, stuff blows up, hurray. But you know nothing about them, and honestly, you don't have any reason to care about them. "Okay, she has a crossbow. That guy talks funny. That guy doesn't talk. Hurm. Is that it?" And as for the characters that DO have backstories which they bother to reveal, whoo boy. All of the storytelling is done by flashbacks which either feel very over-the-top and excessively dramatic, or not serious at all. So kids fight, and some douchebags want to get married. Who cares?
And speaking of the characters, the writers really went out of their way to make it feel like a soap opera. It seems like every character somehow knows each other from something they did in the distant past -- CUE FLASHBACK SEQUENCE!
The characters have been "internationalized." Rather than Fort Wadsworth's motor pool housing America's finest, this new international Pit has people from all over the world. G.I. Joe is once again Action Force, this time an Action Force made by the combined power of multiple governments. Probably easier to market the flick internationally this way.
Yet, despite the "internationalization" of the characters, the one they mess up the worse is the one best known for BEING from a foreign land. How ironic that this new reimagined Baroness is simply some American broad with badly dyed hair. That's it. No accent. Just some random white girl in a slutty costume. Hooray for plot devices. Way to go, Hollywood! Other characters just look really, really stupid - take for example "The Doctor" or the "Vipers" with ugly helmets with huge eyes and metal grins. These characters look like badly-designed comic-book villains. Unfortunately, the comic book they're from is NOT G.I. Joe.
Despite the movie taking place in the "not-so-distant future," the civilian ground vehicles are from the present day. Wait, what? How can there be airships and VTOL carriers out of Star Trek or Ghost In The Shell, but the ground vehicles remain the same? Did the governments of the world decide to ban new cars and instead invest that money into developing shuttlecrafts and bizarre submarines? Nah, it's just product placement. They can call it a "Steel Crusher APV" if they want, but it's just a lame-ass Hummer.
And speaking of "not-so-distant future," let's briefly talk about the Joes' equipment, shall we? Crossbows with self-navigating shells? Arm-mounted hologram projectors? Fancy suits of mechanical armour? What the crap? Does G.I. Joe buy gear from Stark Industries? If not, Tony should sue them for blatantly ripping off his armour. That shot of the ankles sealing up was more than just an "homage."
Honestly, though, "Delta-6 Accelerator Suit"? Come the hell on. Here I was thinking S.N.A.K.E. Armour was lame, and then they pull THIS out of their ass. Of all of the Joe eras to include in the flick, Sigma 6? WHY? If you don't believe that they intentionally tipped their hats to Sigma 6, stay 'til the end of the movie. If you can.
Like most recent generic Hollywood action flicks, this one features gimmickry such as shakycam, too much slow-motion, and plenty of sparks/explosions to get in the way of seeing whatever is supposed to be on the screen. The fight scenes aren't that entertaining and the chase scenes aren't much better. Stuff's moving, camera's shaking, can't see what's happening, some sort of explosion, a flip or two, some slow-motion, repeat. Again. And again. And again. Truly groundbreaking filmmaking.
There is some good among this sea of mediocrity. Dr. Who plays Destro and they did a good job with his character. They also explained a bit about one of his ancestors in what was probably the best scene of the movie - not that that's saying much. The new take on Zartan is fantastic. Much more plausible than the shape-shifting hologram-using ab-revealing Aussie biker gang leader.
There are several references which older Joe fans will pick up on. Don't be fooled by a few lines, an alternate costume, something to chew on, or a red helmet. Just because you might have chuckled at a line doesn't mean you didn't facepalm a few scenes back, and in no way begins to make up for the flick's numerous flaws.
The story is terrible, the acting is just awful, the music is generic, the gags aren't funny, the action is uninteresting, and the plot twists are foreseeable. Do yourself a favour - buy some Joe comics or a figure instead.
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
An Accurate Look At: "Transformers: Revenge of The Fallen"
In the first Great Depression, Hollywood managed to survive by spewing out terrible, generic cut-rate movies. People would flock to theatres, forget about their woes for a few hours, and Tinseltown would rake it all in.
Sound familiar? It should.
Generic Hollywood Robots II: Return of the Product Placement is a two-and-a-half-hour orgy of mediocrity. Remember the 1998 Godzilla re-imagining? The needlessly radical redesign, the overly large cast of uninteresting humans, and the plot which seemed to have been added as an afterthought between explosions?
Sound familiar? It should.
The team who reduced the Transformers to nothing more than a brainless teen comedy have returned to once again reduce the Transformers to nothing more than a brainless teen comedy.
If you thought that the character development was bad in the 2007 flick, guess again. It's even worse this time around, with more characters who have less screentime than ever before. Think of the Redshirts from Star Trek. Only this time, they've given them names and even action figures. If you're only going to give a character one line and 30 seconds of screentime, you probably shouldn't have bothered to have put them in at all. Why would a character come to Earth just to drive through a few buildings, not even get a full robot mode, and ultimately get blown up?
And speaking of the 'robot modes,' have you ever crumpled up a ball of aluminum foil? Congratulations, you've made an accurate replica of a movie 'Transformer.' What's that? Your replica has no limbs and can't even turn into anything? Well, why not put it on a wheel? Feet are SO 1980s.
Seriously. A construction vehicle that turns into what looks like the robot equivalent of an abortion? A head between two wheels and arms? Where is the torso? Where are the legs? What the hell IS that thing? And don't get me started on the motorcycle triplets. Three motorcycles who don't have a robot mode between them. Picture a jack-in-the-box, with the head on the end of the extended spring. Now put that jack-in-the-box on top of a unicycle. According to Hollywood, you have a robot. Are they trying to make a Beast Machines reference, or just make their designers look lazy? And speaking of terrible designs, the main villain, a bastardization of one of the more memorable Transformers villains (and the ONLY character in this movie who should have had flames) looks like Makuta from Bionicle, and doesn't even turn into anything.
There are many 'robots' in this flick. Too many, in fact, with more literally leaping out of nowhere. Can drones tunnel their way across oceans, and just happen to be in the right area of the right country during an important battle? Do Constructicons reproduce asexually? Do they have Multiple Man's abilities? Sure seems that way because they can be everywhere at once, despite being combined into some kind of gorilla-like Shop-Vac.
Also, way to misunderstand Cybertronians. Megatron calls no one 'master.' Transformers do not cry. They do not have green blood. They do not speak like inner-city thugs. They have their own lexicon of slang and curses and need not borrow the humans'.
But don't worry. The robots aren't the only characters who are awful. The humans are, too. Forget about acting and characterization. Oh no, you can rely on stereotypes to instantly understand everything about a particular character. Paranoid geekboy? Check. "OMG, it's my destiny" guy? Check. Airheaded women? Check! People with learning disabilities? Minorities? Double check!
Why? Why must they make two of the robots who get the most screen time turn into awful-looking Chevrolets with repulsive paint jobs? And why must those cars turn into slang-talking stereotypical gangstas? The Retardicon twins (Hurp and Durp) have huge ears, gold teeth, oversized eyes, speak in human slang, and can't read. Of all the characters to give screen time to, it had to be these two. Primus, why? It was like watching a pair of mentally deficient wannabe rappers having a seizure.
Along with the awful characters came other staples of this kind of movie-making: too much gimmicry, too much special effects, too much frat boy/douchebag/unfunny humour (wrecking ball testicles? Dog buttsex? What kind of 12-year-old wrote that into the script?), and of course, airheaded/airbrushed women who are only cast for two reasons. And their reasons are on their chests.
At one point, Megan Fox's character is seen airbrushing what looks like some trashy tattoo onto a motorcycle. How very appropriate.
This flick is incredibly difficult to watch. And not just for the foreseeable plot twists (I use the term 'plot' very, very loosely), the excessive amount of uninteresting/undeveloped characters, the excessive special effects, a story structured almost as badly as this write-up, and the incredibly forgettable generic soundtrack (which, come to think of it, seems highly fitting). For some reason, this hack of a director loves gimmicks such as shaky-cam, lens flare, motion blur, and slow-motion - and combinations of any of the above. Not only do these 'techniques' feel overdone and tacky, but they really make the movie literally unwatchable. What's going on? What just happened? I don't know, because the camera wouldn't hold still while the sun blocked everything on screen while everything moved around really quickly. If you expect people to pay damn near twenty dollars to watch your drivel in Imax, show some courtesy and let them see the movie.
The best way to describe this flick is to compare it to a 90s comic book - 24 pages of over-the-top 'toughguyness' and badassery for no reason (to the point that characters act out of character), characters no one has any reason to care about, excessive fighting and violence for the sake of excessive fighting and violence, whenches, and bad stories, complete with a holographic cover, a collector card, plastic bag, and whole lot of ads.
Sound familiar? It should.
Generic Hollywood Robots II: Return of the Product Placement is a two-and-a-half-hour orgy of mediocrity. Remember the 1998 Godzilla re-imagining? The needlessly radical redesign, the overly large cast of uninteresting humans, and the plot which seemed to have been added as an afterthought between explosions?
Sound familiar? It should.
The team who reduced the Transformers to nothing more than a brainless teen comedy have returned to once again reduce the Transformers to nothing more than a brainless teen comedy.
If you thought that the character development was bad in the 2007 flick, guess again. It's even worse this time around, with more characters who have less screentime than ever before. Think of the Redshirts from Star Trek. Only this time, they've given them names and even action figures. If you're only going to give a character one line and 30 seconds of screentime, you probably shouldn't have bothered to have put them in at all. Why would a character come to Earth just to drive through a few buildings, not even get a full robot mode, and ultimately get blown up?
And speaking of the 'robot modes,' have you ever crumpled up a ball of aluminum foil? Congratulations, you've made an accurate replica of a movie 'Transformer.' What's that? Your replica has no limbs and can't even turn into anything? Well, why not put it on a wheel? Feet are SO 1980s.
Seriously. A construction vehicle that turns into what looks like the robot equivalent of an abortion? A head between two wheels and arms? Where is the torso? Where are the legs? What the hell IS that thing? And don't get me started on the motorcycle triplets. Three motorcycles who don't have a robot mode between them. Picture a jack-in-the-box, with the head on the end of the extended spring. Now put that jack-in-the-box on top of a unicycle. According to Hollywood, you have a robot. Are they trying to make a Beast Machines reference, or just make their designers look lazy? And speaking of terrible designs, the main villain, a bastardization of one of the more memorable Transformers villains (and the ONLY character in this movie who should have had flames) looks like Makuta from Bionicle, and doesn't even turn into anything.
There are many 'robots' in this flick. Too many, in fact, with more literally leaping out of nowhere. Can drones tunnel their way across oceans, and just happen to be in the right area of the right country during an important battle? Do Constructicons reproduce asexually? Do they have Multiple Man's abilities? Sure seems that way because they can be everywhere at once, despite being combined into some kind of gorilla-like Shop-Vac.
Also, way to misunderstand Cybertronians. Megatron calls no one 'master.' Transformers do not cry. They do not have green blood. They do not speak like inner-city thugs. They have their own lexicon of slang and curses and need not borrow the humans'.
But don't worry. The robots aren't the only characters who are awful. The humans are, too. Forget about acting and characterization. Oh no, you can rely on stereotypes to instantly understand everything about a particular character. Paranoid geekboy? Check. "OMG, it's my destiny" guy? Check. Airheaded women? Check! People with learning disabilities? Minorities? Double check!
Why? Why must they make two of the robots who get the most screen time turn into awful-looking Chevrolets with repulsive paint jobs? And why must those cars turn into slang-talking stereotypical gangstas? The Retardicon twins (Hurp and Durp) have huge ears, gold teeth, oversized eyes, speak in human slang, and can't read. Of all the characters to give screen time to, it had to be these two. Primus, why? It was like watching a pair of mentally deficient wannabe rappers having a seizure.
Along with the awful characters came other staples of this kind of movie-making: too much gimmicry, too much special effects, too much frat boy/douchebag/unfunny humour (wrecking ball testicles? Dog buttsex? What kind of 12-year-old wrote that into the script?), and of course, airheaded/airbrushed women who are only cast for two reasons. And their reasons are on their chests.
At one point, Megan Fox's character is seen airbrushing what looks like some trashy tattoo onto a motorcycle. How very appropriate.
This flick is incredibly difficult to watch. And not just for the foreseeable plot twists (I use the term 'plot' very, very loosely), the excessive amount of uninteresting/undeveloped characters, the excessive special effects, a story structured almost as badly as this write-up, and the incredibly forgettable generic soundtrack (which, come to think of it, seems highly fitting). For some reason, this hack of a director loves gimmicks such as shaky-cam, lens flare, motion blur, and slow-motion - and combinations of any of the above. Not only do these 'techniques' feel overdone and tacky, but they really make the movie literally unwatchable. What's going on? What just happened? I don't know, because the camera wouldn't hold still while the sun blocked everything on screen while everything moved around really quickly. If you expect people to pay damn near twenty dollars to watch your drivel in Imax, show some courtesy and let them see the movie.
The best way to describe this flick is to compare it to a 90s comic book - 24 pages of over-the-top 'toughguyness' and badassery for no reason (to the point that characters act out of character), characters no one has any reason to care about, excessive fighting and violence for the sake of excessive fighting and violence, whenches, and bad stories, complete with a holographic cover, a collector card, plastic bag, and whole lot of ads.
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