Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Jon and Kate plus 8 divided by 2

By Joe Milone

I’ll be the first to admit (and proudly) that I’ve never watched Jon and Kate plus eight but unless you live in a spider hole you can’t avoid this unholy brood. Besides the show itself, the family has graced every tabloid in the country for the last few months. Whether it’s Jon cheating on Kate or Kate cheating on Jon or announcements of Kate’s plastic surgery, I for one have had enough.

Apparently on last nights show they announced the breakup for the marriage. Kate was quoted as saying "I don't want to be alone," she said. "I don't want to do this alone but that's required and I've got to do it." Sure she doesn’t want to be alone, after all now she’s a single mom of her own baseball team.

On the flipside Jon didn’t seem as depressed as Kate. “I'm hurt by all of this," he said. "But I'm excited and hurt at the same time because I have a new chapter in my life. I'm only 32 years old."

So while they are going to be separated, they will continue the show. “Jon will come here when it is his days," Kate said. "We will flip-flop that way."

So now that they are going to split up perhaps they can split the 40 remaining episodes into two shows, one featuring Kate and one featuring Jon.

For Kate maybe they can try “Kate plus eight plus Bunkmate” where every week Kate brings home a new potential husband and sees how he adjusts to living with her bitchyness and the gaggle of kids. Or how about Kate plus 8: home improvement edition where Kate supervises her children’s construction club as each week they renovate a needy families home.

For Jon, they could possibly have him feature on the Bachelor or what would be even better is if they move him from State to State where he becomes Jon Gosselin: DCF Enforcer. Each week he could investigate families who have delusions of grandeur about making a reality show. First stop The Octomom!

In any case, after this season, I hope that these fools disappear into the void forever.

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